Three Little Cuties

 

Photo taken by Fawn Lily Photography

     This is the first time since having Frankie, almost 4 months ago, that I've used the computer. These days, phones and the iPad are far more convenient and easy to stash away. Not to mention, with Steven in school, he is usually using the computer for homework in the evenings. I have decided to make a little time for myself, so here it goes...

Photo taken by Fawn Lily Photography

     Let's just start off by saying: three is HARD! God gave me a wonderful body of pairs. Two eyes, ears, nostrils, arms, hands... You get the idea. With my two little toddlers, I was busy, but I could still wrangle one per arm if they both decided to gang up on me. I have the cutest, most perfect little toddlers. And they did what I wanted most of the time... And we all got along pretty well. Enter in the third little angel. I have since been in situations where both Ezzy and Jules seem to want to go in opposite directions. One wants to run, while the other is tantruming on the ground. Or one is standing at the top of the tallest slide, and the other is making sand rain. I'm handling it okay as Frankie is still small enough to carry, but he's growing SO fast (funny how it's quicker with each child) and starting to get pretty heavy.  I find myself desperately looking around for that third arm I feel I'm supposed to have. Or the third eye so I can watch all at once. Heck, I'll even take the third leg if it means I can run faster as I try to chase the kids. The third nostril, I think I'll do without. No need to have diapers smell ANY stronger than they already do!

      

    When I was pregnant with Frankie, my kids learned that if they made themselves as flat on the ground as possible, tripled their weight, and slather themselves in nonexistent oil, it was near impossible to pick them up. Same rules apply when I'm carrying the baby. The innovation and intelligence of my toddlers has me amazed and terrified at the same time. With my first, I remember I enjoying the milestones and even encouraging him. No doubt subconciously planning the bragging rights ("My baby was walking at 9 months old! It's because we did X,Y,Z that he's so smart!"). Number two, I missed precious moments between the sleepless nights and zombified days. I remember when I first saw her pull herself up on to a stool and I wondered where my baby had gone. The first time she stood, I had to resist the urge to push her down to discourage her from walking. (JK, but it's kinda true..) She started walking at 10 months and immediately started death defying acts. Instead of saying, "MY child knows the ABCs and can count to 100." I find myself saying things like, "Where did they learn THAT?! I certainly did not teach them how to pick, lick, smear, punch, scratch, flash, any one or anything!" 

     It's been an interesting learning experience for me to see my children each have their own perfect little personality that is completely their own. That's something I know I can't take credit for. And I also can't ignore that each child has specific needs and wants. One standard way of parenting does not bring me success. One kid loves to snuggle, the other loves hugs that last milliseconds. One is a human vaccuum, while the other enjoys taking seven hours to eat a sandwich. I've learned to try to laugh (to keep from crying) and enjoy these moments. Some mannerisms are fleeting, while some can last months. These experiences have shown me that there's so much beauty in diversity. In some simply beautiful way, all these talents and differences come together and make up my family. The hours spent wiping sticky hands and cradling sick kids in my arms are what builds my relationships with these tiny humans. For now (all three are miraculously napping), I'm happy that I get this time to be able to reflect on what a blessing each day is!

PS: I just realized that I wrote absolutely no real details about baby Frankie, my poor third child. I really do love the sweet cuddles I get from him and soft kisses. I love how his whole face lights up when he smiles. More to come! xo

The Cost of Mommy Bragging

CONFESSIONS:

1. "I don't understand how women would EVER leave their kids in someone else's care. They say they need a break? Don't you have kids because you actually like them?"

 

Esmond's blessing day

2. "I'll just do the breathing I have practiced for the last nine months and I'll be able to manage labour. The women who lose it, don't do deep breathing like they should be."

 

Yes, that's me at 9 months pregnant with Ezzy. On top of the world! Thank you 22yr old me for making me terrified to cough or sneeze this pregnancy...

3. "I have a really high pain tolerance. It shouldn't be too bad."

4. "My newborn sleeps through the night! SO awesome!... Wait, is this normal?"

 

I love Julia's newborn sleepy smile

5. "My child is only 16 months old and she's already pooping on the toilet. SHE tells ME she wants to go."

6. "I haven't had to change a poopy diaper in a while!"

                                            Esmond's first bath, and first of many pees on the floor... :)


7. "I'm a pretty patient person. I can't see myself losing it on my kids like I see others do."

 

Certainly not when they look THIS adorable!

8. "I never get sick when I'm pregnant!"

 

Glowing and pregnant with Julia. Immune system still working.

I have been cringing the entire time while recalling saying these things. The regretful list is much longer, but for the sake of time, I won't add any more. If there's one thing I have learned since the moment I was first pregnant, it is to NEVER judge, and most of all bragging is just daring the future to prove you wrong. Clearly, it's a lesson I haven't learned yet, as I still keep saying things to other moms and family members that somehow make me feel that I'm mastering this parenting thing. NO. I can't think of a moment where I have bragged to someone else, googled to see if I was the only lucky one, or just thought to myself smugly that it actually turned out to be something I had control over.


Let's talk about number one. Naive and completely in love with my little newborn, I couldn't see how I could ever want to be separated from him. Now he is 3, with a 1.5yr old sister, and I have seen that taking some time for myself is not only enjoyable, but completely necessary for my happiness in motherhood. Mothers, make time for yourselves, everyone benefits from this practice!


Number two, ooo I really do cringe at. There comes a stage in labour that no amount of breathing will make it "a breeze." I honestly felt lied to once I hit transition and no matter how much you prepare, experience is the best teacher. Number three was also in reference to labour, and who am I kidding? Birthing a baby is no walk in the park! I've also learned that every birth experience is different and pain is not relative. You can't compare pain tolerance as it is so completely individual.

Number four was my first googling experience. The night I typed in how many hours Julia slept, was the night she stopped sleeping like a champ. No joke, saddest thing to experience, but I've learned that even google can monitor bragging moms and put us right back where we belong.

 Number five... Yikes, this one only happened two days ago. Let's just say the day started out full of pride and ended in a whole lot of poopy mess. After leaving her on her potty for too long, I came in to poopy toys and books...Still not quite sure how that happened. Later in the day, I don't know how, but she managed to get poop in eight different spots in our livingroom. EIGHT! The first one I stepped in, and I am SO glad Steven was home to change her diaper so I could find the leaked on spots. And with brown carpets, the only way was to sniff every inch of our carpet, every toy and every book. And before you all think I was crazy enough to put a 16 month old in undies, this was in a diaper... Yes, my friends, that is the cost of bragging.

Number six usually ends up (I say this, because I have said this after many potty successes...) with weeks upon weeks of blowouts or potty refusal. DO NOT challenge the future, I'm serious people, it really does happen way to often.

Number seven, I think both Steven and I learned once we had a child that could actually talk back to us. Even if you can't hear real words in English or Spanish coming out of a kids mouth, tone and body language are pretty clear. Many instances of thrown food, toys or breakable items have taught me that I seriously lack patience. I have learned not to pray and ask for more patience, because, I'm afraid what lessons will be sent my way. This is where the deep labour breathing has proved to be the most successful. Sure, I look like a crazy lady, but I find I can dig deeper to find that sliver of patience I used to brag about.

Which brings me to the last thing I wish I never said about myself. With Esmond and Julia, it is true, I rarely got sick. I did get the flu once with Julia that was pretty horrific, but it was over in 24 hours and I was back to being my normal no-energy self. Morning sickness and exhaustion, sure, and plenty of it. But no colds or fevers that were noteworthy. With this pregnancy there has maybe been 3 days since the morning sickness wore off that I have felt 100% and had no hacking cough, achy body or exploding headache. Yes, lesson learned there, 6 months too late.

I was lamenting to my Mom a month or so ago about how sick I've been and how it isn't fair. She helped me to realize that some people are born empathetic/sympathetic. They are generally the people you would be happy to have over in your lowest moments, because you know they would understand what you need. And then there's those who have to learn it. The hard, painful and dirty way. I remember countless times friends and family accusing me of being judgemental and all I ever thought was that they were too sensitive. But I realized now, that this natural ability that some have, I seriously lacked. I have felt more empathy, love and kindness towards those around me that are struggling and seem to have trial after trial. I have learned to seek to listen more that I can be more helpful and understanding rather than just waiting until it's my turn to talk. To those of you who I have offended in the past or will offend in the future, I am truly sorry. I hope that I can be more available to those who need it, instead of wallowing in my own self pity. I am trying to stop comparing and start loving as I know that's what all we parents need! I also want you all to know that I am learning to have more humility... One prideful bragging blunder at a time.

I'm baaacck... Julia Turns ONE

Well it’s been awhile since I have written.I haven’t had the brain to be able to type anything these days. I’ve been in strict survival mode as my baby has become a toddler and I have tried to keep up with two toddlers. As both kids seem to need to press the power key, delete or Page Down, it's been pretty impossible to post anything. In fact, I've been wrestling off Ezzy as I try to finish this post. However, since Julia just had her first birthday yesterday, I felt I should blog about it. We had her party a couple days ago and I was so touched by all the people who came to celebrate and I am so grateful for everyone’s great gifts!! Wow! I can’t believe I have a one year old and a two year old! It sounds much more crazy saying it that way, than saying I have an almost three year old haha. What can I say? I’m slightly insane..

I can’t believe how time has flown and all the wonderful things Julia has experienced her first year of life. Oh how I love my beautiful little thumb sucker. I have been warned by countless people about how it will ruin her teeth and whatnot, but I figure, with my genes, she’s already done for, so I might as well get a little peace haha. Not to mention, I haven’t really been successful at any attempts to stop her thumbsucking since she does it in her sleep as well. If she can end up in my bed without me waking up ( I somehow manage to get out of bed, walk to her crib and bring her into bed without remembering…) there’s no way I can monitor her thumbsucking.

She is a very tactile baby and always has one thumb in her mouth and her other hand holding her pigtail or, if she’s on my back being carried, she’ll try to rip enough hair off my head to get a handful. It’s particularly painful if my hair is in a ponytail. When she’s sleepy, she becomes very snuggly and cuddly. I love when she loops her arm around my neck and rests her head on my shoulder. She started walking just before she turned 11 months and was taking steps at 8.5 months. She’s always on the go! She is a lot like Esmond was at her age in the sense that she always loves to be leaving the house. As soon as a door opens, she runs to get through it. And if it closes before she escapes, she’s devastated. She loves playing in the backyard and climbing everything she possibly can. Right now, her favourite thing to climb is a kids slide that is about 3.5 feet tall. She’ll climb up the slide with her sticky hands and feet and just sit or stand at the top of it. She likes to give me regular heart attacks. There’s definitely no boredom in this house! She has just started signing for milk or “leche” as I call it and it’s so fun to see her start communicating in more than just shrieks. She is amazing at sitting still and letting me do her hair as long as she has a toy or something exciting to play with. I love that she puts up with my need to style her hair whenever we go out. What a trooper!Food has been another love for Julia. As long as she is hungry she’ll eat almost anything. There are few things she doesn’t like, but I can’t really remember off the top of my head what those are. I can give her half a banana and she eats it all up just fine. It’s amazing how fast she can eat things. I tend to check her highchair regularly to make sure her food isn’t smashed down one of the sides, but I rarely find food unless it’s tiny bits of food. 

It has been fun the last few weeks to see that Steven can now put Julia to sleep. It warms my heart to see her cuddle with him and fall asleep. Steven is such a wonderful father. And it’s been so much fun to see their relationship bloom. It's so comforting to know that she trusts and loves her Daddy.

She’s started teething again and I think it’s particularly painful this time since it’s the molars coming in and they’re a lot bigger. Julia is really handling it like a champ and only fusses a little, but it makes me sad to see her in pain. 

 What a spunky little girl Jules is turning out to be. She is VERY determined and if you get in her way, she’ll let you know by her signature screech. She also will punish you if you stand by and do nothing to defend her. For example, Esmond stole her toy and she ran over to me crying and bit my arm. A few hours later, he said she couldn’t have a cracker and she ran over to me and bit my leg… What is that?? I’m still a little unsure about how to go about this one… Poor Esmond has no idea what to do either as he just stands in shock and cries when she bites him. I’m glad he hasn’t developed the need to retaliate immediately and I usually have enough time to whisk him away from her. As Esmond never bit anyone, it’s proving to be quite the learning curve for me. It must really feel like her only defense as she never really hits or kicks. Well, I sure do love my little girl and as I review this last year that I’ve had with her, I can’t believe it’s only been a year and at the same time, I feel like I’m living life in fast forward. It really is true that the older you get, the younger everyone seems. All the more reason to enjoy every moment! 

Through the Eyes of a Toddler

I love mornings, mornings are my favourite!
Written by Esmond Richard Oakes

6:30 AM
Ahh, I'm awake. Good morning pillow, good morning blanket, good morning room, good morning Mommy and Daddy, g- wait a second, where is every one?!?! Why is it dark? I have to peeeee someone help! Maybe if I get louder and louder someone will eventually get me out of here! Why are they taking so long!

6:31
Yes! I knew he couldn't sleep through that... Good morning Daddy, I have to pee! No, don't put my toilet seat frontwards, we've been through this, I NEED it to be backwards. That's good. Now don't do that again. Ever.

6:32
Ooo I'm STARVING! Bread? Yogurt? Milk? Bread? Bread? Bread? Breeaaaadd! Daddy why are you walking away from me?! Oh. You're just making some toast. No, not in the toaster, in the toaster oven. There ya go, Yaaaayy!

6:35
Prayer time? Ok. Something something bread, Amen.

6:45
Mmmm two bites of toast and I'm stuffed! Ok, I'm ready to play! Is Mommy still in bed? I'm going to go wake her up. Hey, Jules is there too! Let's all wake up! Good morning Mommy, good morning Jules! Hmm, Jules is still sleeping *whack* wakkke upppp! Hi Jules :) FULL BODY HUG! Aw, Mom, she's fine, she likes when I give her an "Anaconda squeeezzee" Don't you Jules? See? She's smiling!

........

12 Pm
.... Wow I have had hours of exploration and fun, and it's been pretty sweet. Let's see, each egg taken out of the carton and licked thoroughly? Check. Hopefully Mum won't notice this time, I did leave them neatly in a line on the second shelf. Not one crack, and now they're clean too! Did I put all my toys in the fridge today? Oh yes, that was fun. I took a drink from the bathroom sink ALL BY MYSELF! I then got a cup and filled it for Mommy. I even put it on the bed right behind her when she was nursing Jules to surprise her. She is always thirsty and she looked pretty funny jumping out of bed so fast and dripping wet. Then I sat on Julia for a full 2 seconds (possibly longer) before Mommy noticed and I KNOW she thought it was funny. Whenever she turns away her head, and tries to be serious, I know she is holding back a laugh. I'm pretty funny.

12:01 PM
Ahh... sleep time.. WAIT A MINUTE! Where are my cars? Car? Car? Caaaarrrrrrr? Ah, there she is, Mommy I need my car. Yes, those 3 are good but I want my caaaarrr. Yes, the one with the surfboard on top, ahh perfect. Motorbike? Motorrrrrrbiiikkkke? Perfect. Now they all need to be lined up. Thank you Mommy. Ok Motorbike, let's cuddle. ZZZzzzzz.



Okay, you got me, Ezzy did not write this, but he actually did and does do all these things. And I wouldn't be surprised if his thought pattern went something like that. Every day is a new adventure for him and he has such wonder at how things work and are made. And sometimes he even makes up his own ways of how things are done. His daily rules ;) My life is good. Reaaally good. Although I may be a bit frustrated the moment he shoves a chair into the back of my legs and proceeds to scream and push as hard as he can so he can be at the counter helping me, I really do love his desire to learn. It is inspiring how attentive he can be and how much he remembers. Sometimes he is too attentive... He's started to flush the toilet with his feet since he saw me do that at a public bathroom and almost fell in the bathtub trying to reach the handle. I've had to learn to be careful how I react, what I say, what I climb on and where I put Julia. And yet it has been an amazing adventure so far. He makes me laugh every day and when he makes Jules laugh it makes me so grateful to have these two darlings. I love my job, and wouldn't want it any other way.
**Movie misquotes, Elf, Lego Movie, Nacho Libre**

Mr. Right for Me

Everyone said once you have kids sleeping in goes out the window. Well, maybe it does in a sense. I remember being single and sleeping til noon recovering from a late night out with friends. While I don't necessarily get that kind of solid sleep, I do get a break Saturday morning. Steven gets up with Ezzy, fixes him breakfast and sometimes even brings me breakfast as I nurse Jules in bed. I remember him doing the same things when we were first married. He used to write me notes on the white board we have on our fridge. He wrote me love notes on the bathroom mirror. I'd sneak love notes in his lunch. He'd come home with a boquet of flowers after I'd had a hard day/week. Sometimes it wasn't a boquet, sometimes it was just a flower he found on his bike ride home from school. We had a vase by the kitchen sink that he always tried to keep something in it. I recall coming home from work one day and seeing that he put an avacado pit in it haha. One time he put holly in it. I looked forward to his "flower fridays" to see what he would come home with. I was so in love and talking all the time about how lucky I was to have such a doting husband. I remember hearing things like, " Enjoy it while it lasts" and "Oh yeah, he does that now, just wait til real life hits." I was constantly reminded of how it was all going to end. At least, the newlywed bliss that made me feel like I was floating on a cloud all day. I remember late nights talking to Steven as we held eachother before we fell asleep. I'd start worrying, " When are the good times going to end? When's life going to get hard? I'm so happy right now, but will I always be? I don't want "real life" to start."



Well, "real life" did start. But it was beautiful. The trials that we have gone through the last three years have only made us closer. Steven still buys me flowers. He writes me notes that make me cry. (Nice notes guys, not mean ones!) And he tries harder every day to be a better husband and father. I try too, promise. He tells me I look beautiful when I haven't showered or an ounce of makeup on. He rubs my back as I make dinner and does the dishes without ever being asked. He works SO hard at school and he still makes time to do little things to make life easier. Esmond just adores his Daddy and it warms my heart to hear his giggles as Steve plays cars or reads books to him. Jules face lights up when he talks to her. His calmness keeps me in check and tones down my urge to freak out at everything. He truly is my better half.
This picture sums it up nicely. (Sorry honey, the adorableness of this must be shared!)
 


While I know he isn't perfect, he's my kind of perfect. I don't know how different my life would be had I not been married 3 years ago to my best friend. Growing up people always said to find Mr. Right. But I know he doesn't exist. There is not one man. There are many that are Mr. Rightforyou. And I'm grateful every day for having found mine.

Camping Reality. You can still have fun as a Momma

Ever been surrounded by nature and just felt that calm bliss that makes you feel like you haven't a care in the world? I have many times. But they are more spaced out and far between these days.

That's why I love to camp.

I was recently able to go camping with my little kiddos (Steven had school) and although it was a lot of work, those couple days out in nature made it all worth it. I was able to have Elsie and Benson, my younger siblings, come with me. It made all the difference to have them there. They were such an awesome help! I can't believe I was thinking of going alone with just the two babies! I will admit, that camping is definitely not as fun when you're the parent. I have such respect and awe of my mother who would go camping every summer with 1-10 kids depending on the year. SO much packing!!!  But she must've loved it or us enough to let us have such fun adventures.

I remember going to the Australian outback and camping in the middle of nowhere with deadly snakes, spiders and other pleasant poisonous wildlife. On one camping trip, we were camping in someones "backyard" for a week. (Awesome. Esmond has discovered backspace. He just deleted a few sentences with his hand in a sock.)

Sidenote: He has an obsession with socks lately. I don't know if it's a Michael Jackson thing, or a Captain Hook thing, but he can always be found with one sock on his hand. Sometimes he will try climbing furniture with socks on both his hands and I can't help but laugh at some of his wipe outs. They are usually his socks, but he has just stolen Julia's socks right off her feet to fuel his obsession. What a kid!

Anyway, back to the "backyard", we arrived in the middle of the night and drove in our land cruiser down the canyon wall to the bottom in the dark. I remember my Mom crying in the front seat, but I also remember having a blast as we cheered my Dad on with each drop that we felt as we descended into the canyon. In the morning, we looked at the steep cliff we had driven down and were amazed that we made it. The camping trip was a blast! Dad almost got bit by a deadly red belly snake, Jeremy stepped on something in the water that he was afraid was poisonous, and we ran out of water and had to boil it from the river we were camping by. And yet I still remember having so much fun roughing it with my siblings. I don't know how my parents slept at all! I'm going to try to keep the tradition of having at least one camping trip per year but I feel slightly pathetic as far as "roughing it" goes. I think I did all my crazy camping trips as a child. :)

I went to Honeymoon Bay in Cowichan Lake and it was just beautiful. There were showers, flush toilets and running water. The first night, I started thinking that every single sound was some one (most likely a murder or thief) either driving/walking into our campsite, or some animal directly outside our tent about to eat us all. I worked out defence tactics in my head all night which by morning made absolutely no sense. I also worried about some one rolling on top of Julia or a blanket somehow suffocating her. I checked her and Ezzy multiple times through the night to make sure they were warm/alive. And every one slept right through the night including Julia (I think that made me nervous as well).  The daylight brought safety and peace of mind, and I was able to thoroughly enjoy time playing in the water and sun for a whole half an hour! Haha. It could have been longer, but not by much. I didn't really think about how much I would be scouring the beach for a shady spot. Luckily it wasn't too hard to find. Nap time gave me freedom.

Ezzy napped on the ground next to Elsie, Jules slept in a camping chair, and I escaped to the water. It was a gorgeous day and I was able to do the same thing the next day as well! So wonderful to be able to float in the water and enjoy a little bit of freedom. Cooking "hot shmoes" over the camping stove (fire ban), hot chocolate, Mexican rummy, awesome chats with my seestor, and cuddly naps were some of the highlights of a fantastically successful camping trip. I can't wait to go again :)

Anybody have camping tips, or memorable trips?