The Cost of Mommy Bragging

CONFESSIONS:

1. "I don't understand how women would EVER leave their kids in someone else's care. They say they need a break? Don't you have kids because you actually like them?"

 

Esmond's blessing day

2. "I'll just do the breathing I have practiced for the last nine months and I'll be able to manage labour. The women who lose it, don't do deep breathing like they should be."

 

Yes, that's me at 9 months pregnant with Ezzy. On top of the world! Thank you 22yr old me for making me terrified to cough or sneeze this pregnancy...

3. "I have a really high pain tolerance. It shouldn't be too bad."

4. "My newborn sleeps through the night! SO awesome!... Wait, is this normal?"

 

I love Julia's newborn sleepy smile

5. "My child is only 16 months old and she's already pooping on the toilet. SHE tells ME she wants to go."

6. "I haven't had to change a poopy diaper in a while!"

                                            Esmond's first bath, and first of many pees on the floor... :)


7. "I'm a pretty patient person. I can't see myself losing it on my kids like I see others do."

 

Certainly not when they look THIS adorable!

8. "I never get sick when I'm pregnant!"

 

Glowing and pregnant with Julia. Immune system still working.

I have been cringing the entire time while recalling saying these things. The regretful list is much longer, but for the sake of time, I won't add any more. If there's one thing I have learned since the moment I was first pregnant, it is to NEVER judge, and most of all bragging is just daring the future to prove you wrong. Clearly, it's a lesson I haven't learned yet, as I still keep saying things to other moms and family members that somehow make me feel that I'm mastering this parenting thing. NO. I can't think of a moment where I have bragged to someone else, googled to see if I was the only lucky one, or just thought to myself smugly that it actually turned out to be something I had control over.


Let's talk about number one. Naive and completely in love with my little newborn, I couldn't see how I could ever want to be separated from him. Now he is 3, with a 1.5yr old sister, and I have seen that taking some time for myself is not only enjoyable, but completely necessary for my happiness in motherhood. Mothers, make time for yourselves, everyone benefits from this practice!


Number two, ooo I really do cringe at. There comes a stage in labour that no amount of breathing will make it "a breeze." I honestly felt lied to once I hit transition and no matter how much you prepare, experience is the best teacher. Number three was also in reference to labour, and who am I kidding? Birthing a baby is no walk in the park! I've also learned that every birth experience is different and pain is not relative. You can't compare pain tolerance as it is so completely individual.

Number four was my first googling experience. The night I typed in how many hours Julia slept, was the night she stopped sleeping like a champ. No joke, saddest thing to experience, but I've learned that even google can monitor bragging moms and put us right back where we belong.

 Number five... Yikes, this one only happened two days ago. Let's just say the day started out full of pride and ended in a whole lot of poopy mess. After leaving her on her potty for too long, I came in to poopy toys and books...Still not quite sure how that happened. Later in the day, I don't know how, but she managed to get poop in eight different spots in our livingroom. EIGHT! The first one I stepped in, and I am SO glad Steven was home to change her diaper so I could find the leaked on spots. And with brown carpets, the only way was to sniff every inch of our carpet, every toy and every book. And before you all think I was crazy enough to put a 16 month old in undies, this was in a diaper... Yes, my friends, that is the cost of bragging.

Number six usually ends up (I say this, because I have said this after many potty successes...) with weeks upon weeks of blowouts or potty refusal. DO NOT challenge the future, I'm serious people, it really does happen way to often.

Number seven, I think both Steven and I learned once we had a child that could actually talk back to us. Even if you can't hear real words in English or Spanish coming out of a kids mouth, tone and body language are pretty clear. Many instances of thrown food, toys or breakable items have taught me that I seriously lack patience. I have learned not to pray and ask for more patience, because, I'm afraid what lessons will be sent my way. This is where the deep labour breathing has proved to be the most successful. Sure, I look like a crazy lady, but I find I can dig deeper to find that sliver of patience I used to brag about.

Which brings me to the last thing I wish I never said about myself. With Esmond and Julia, it is true, I rarely got sick. I did get the flu once with Julia that was pretty horrific, but it was over in 24 hours and I was back to being my normal no-energy self. Morning sickness and exhaustion, sure, and plenty of it. But no colds or fevers that were noteworthy. With this pregnancy there has maybe been 3 days since the morning sickness wore off that I have felt 100% and had no hacking cough, achy body or exploding headache. Yes, lesson learned there, 6 months too late.

I was lamenting to my Mom a month or so ago about how sick I've been and how it isn't fair. She helped me to realize that some people are born empathetic/sympathetic. They are generally the people you would be happy to have over in your lowest moments, because you know they would understand what you need. And then there's those who have to learn it. The hard, painful and dirty way. I remember countless times friends and family accusing me of being judgemental and all I ever thought was that they were too sensitive. But I realized now, that this natural ability that some have, I seriously lacked. I have felt more empathy, love and kindness towards those around me that are struggling and seem to have trial after trial. I have learned to seek to listen more that I can be more helpful and understanding rather than just waiting until it's my turn to talk. To those of you who I have offended in the past or will offend in the future, I am truly sorry. I hope that I can be more available to those who need it, instead of wallowing in my own self pity. I am trying to stop comparing and start loving as I know that's what all we parents need! I also want you all to know that I am learning to have more humility... One prideful bragging blunder at a time.

I'm baaacck... Julia Turns ONE

Well it’s been awhile since I have written.I haven’t had the brain to be able to type anything these days. I’ve been in strict survival mode as my baby has become a toddler and I have tried to keep up with two toddlers. As both kids seem to need to press the power key, delete or Page Down, it's been pretty impossible to post anything. In fact, I've been wrestling off Ezzy as I try to finish this post. However, since Julia just had her first birthday yesterday, I felt I should blog about it. We had her party a couple days ago and I was so touched by all the people who came to celebrate and I am so grateful for everyone’s great gifts!! Wow! I can’t believe I have a one year old and a two year old! It sounds much more crazy saying it that way, than saying I have an almost three year old haha. What can I say? I’m slightly insane..

I can’t believe how time has flown and all the wonderful things Julia has experienced her first year of life. Oh how I love my beautiful little thumb sucker. I have been warned by countless people about how it will ruin her teeth and whatnot, but I figure, with my genes, she’s already done for, so I might as well get a little peace haha. Not to mention, I haven’t really been successful at any attempts to stop her thumbsucking since she does it in her sleep as well. If she can end up in my bed without me waking up ( I somehow manage to get out of bed, walk to her crib and bring her into bed without remembering…) there’s no way I can monitor her thumbsucking.

She is a very tactile baby and always has one thumb in her mouth and her other hand holding her pigtail or, if she’s on my back being carried, she’ll try to rip enough hair off my head to get a handful. It’s particularly painful if my hair is in a ponytail. When she’s sleepy, she becomes very snuggly and cuddly. I love when she loops her arm around my neck and rests her head on my shoulder. She started walking just before she turned 11 months and was taking steps at 8.5 months. She’s always on the go! She is a lot like Esmond was at her age in the sense that she always loves to be leaving the house. As soon as a door opens, she runs to get through it. And if it closes before she escapes, she’s devastated. She loves playing in the backyard and climbing everything she possibly can. Right now, her favourite thing to climb is a kids slide that is about 3.5 feet tall. She’ll climb up the slide with her sticky hands and feet and just sit or stand at the top of it. She likes to give me regular heart attacks. There’s definitely no boredom in this house! She has just started signing for milk or “leche” as I call it and it’s so fun to see her start communicating in more than just shrieks. She is amazing at sitting still and letting me do her hair as long as she has a toy or something exciting to play with. I love that she puts up with my need to style her hair whenever we go out. What a trooper!Food has been another love for Julia. As long as she is hungry she’ll eat almost anything. There are few things she doesn’t like, but I can’t really remember off the top of my head what those are. I can give her half a banana and she eats it all up just fine. It’s amazing how fast she can eat things. I tend to check her highchair regularly to make sure her food isn’t smashed down one of the sides, but I rarely find food unless it’s tiny bits of food. 

It has been fun the last few weeks to see that Steven can now put Julia to sleep. It warms my heart to see her cuddle with him and fall asleep. Steven is such a wonderful father. And it’s been so much fun to see their relationship bloom. It's so comforting to know that she trusts and loves her Daddy.

She’s started teething again and I think it’s particularly painful this time since it’s the molars coming in and they’re a lot bigger. Julia is really handling it like a champ and only fusses a little, but it makes me sad to see her in pain. 

 What a spunky little girl Jules is turning out to be. She is VERY determined and if you get in her way, she’ll let you know by her signature screech. She also will punish you if you stand by and do nothing to defend her. For example, Esmond stole her toy and she ran over to me crying and bit my arm. A few hours later, he said she couldn’t have a cracker and she ran over to me and bit my leg… What is that?? I’m still a little unsure about how to go about this one… Poor Esmond has no idea what to do either as he just stands in shock and cries when she bites him. I’m glad he hasn’t developed the need to retaliate immediately and I usually have enough time to whisk him away from her. As Esmond never bit anyone, it’s proving to be quite the learning curve for me. It must really feel like her only defense as she never really hits or kicks. Well, I sure do love my little girl and as I review this last year that I’ve had with her, I can’t believe it’s only been a year and at the same time, I feel like I’m living life in fast forward. It really is true that the older you get, the younger everyone seems. All the more reason to enjoy every moment!