1. "I don't understand how women would EVER leave their kids in someone else's care. They say they need a break? Don't you have kids because you actually like them?"
Esmond's blessing day
2. "I'll just do the breathing I have practiced for the last nine months and I'll be able to manage labour. The women who lose it, don't do deep breathing like they should be."
Yes, that's me at 9 months pregnant with Ezzy. On top of the world! Thank you 22yr old me for making me terrified to cough or sneeze this pregnancy...
3. "I have a really high pain tolerance. It shouldn't be too bad."4. "My newborn sleeps through the night! SO awesome!... Wait, is this normal?"
I love Julia's newborn sleepy smile
5. "My child is only 16 months old and she's already pooping on the toilet. SHE tells ME she wants to go."
6. "I haven't had to change a poopy diaper in a while!"
7. "I'm a pretty patient person. I can't see myself losing it on my kids like I see others do."
Certainly not when they look THIS adorable!
8. "I never get sick when I'm pregnant!"
Glowing and pregnant with Julia. Immune system still working.
I have been cringing the entire time while recalling saying these things. The regretful list is much longer, but for the sake of time, I won't add any more. If there's one thing I have learned since the moment I was first pregnant, it is to NEVER judge, and most of all bragging is just daring the future to prove you wrong. Clearly, it's a lesson I haven't learned yet, as I still keep saying things to other moms and family members that somehow make me feel that I'm mastering this parenting thing. NO. I can't think of a moment where I have bragged to someone else, googled to see if I was the only lucky one, or just thought to myself smugly that it actually turned out to be something I had control over.
Let's talk about number one. Naive and completely in love with my little newborn, I couldn't see how I could ever want to be separated from him. Now he is 3, with a 1.5yr old sister, and I have seen that taking some time for myself is not only enjoyable, but completely necessary for my happiness in motherhood. Mothers, make time for yourselves, everyone benefits from this practice!
Number two, ooo I really do cringe at. There comes a stage in labour that no amount of breathing will make it "a breeze." I honestly felt lied to once I hit transition and no matter how much you prepare, experience is the best teacher. Number three was also in reference to labour, and who am I kidding? Birthing a baby is no walk in the park! I've also learned that every birth experience is different and pain is not relative. You can't compare pain tolerance as it is so completely individual.
Number four was my first googling experience. The night I typed in how many hours Julia slept, was the night she stopped sleeping like a champ. No joke, saddest thing to experience, but I've learned that even google can monitor bragging moms and put us right back where we belong.
Number five... Yikes, this one only happened two days ago. Let's just say the day started out full of pride and ended in a whole lot of poopy mess. After leaving her on her potty for too long, I came in to poopy toys and books...Still not quite sure how that happened. Later in the day, I don't know how, but she managed to get poop in eight different spots in our livingroom. EIGHT! The first one I stepped in, and I am SO glad Steven was home to change her diaper so I could find the leaked on spots. And with brown carpets, the only way was to sniff every inch of our carpet, every toy and every book. And before you all think I was crazy enough to put a 16 month old in undies, this was in a diaper... Yes, my friends, that is the cost of bragging.
Number six usually ends up (I say this, because I have said this after many potty successes...) with weeks upon weeks of blowouts or potty refusal. DO NOT challenge the future, I'm serious people, it really does happen way to often.
Number seven, I think both Steven and I learned once we had a child that could actually talk back to us. Even if you can't hear real words in English or Spanish coming out of a kids mouth, tone and body language are pretty clear. Many instances of thrown food, toys or breakable items have taught me that I seriously lack patience. I have learned not to pray and ask for more patience, because, I'm afraid what lessons will be sent my way. This is where the deep labour breathing has proved to be the most successful. Sure, I look like a crazy lady, but I find I can dig deeper to find that sliver of patience I used to brag about.
Which brings me to the last thing I wish I never said about myself. With Esmond and Julia, it is true, I rarely got sick. I did get the flu once with Julia that was pretty horrific, but it was over in 24 hours and I was back to being my normal no-energy self. Morning sickness and exhaustion, sure, and plenty of it. But no colds or fevers that were noteworthy. With this pregnancy there has maybe been 3 days since the morning sickness wore off that I have felt 100% and had no hacking cough, achy body or exploding headache. Yes, lesson learned there, 6 months too late.
I was lamenting to my Mom a month or so ago about how sick I've been and how it isn't fair. She helped me to realize that some people are born empathetic/sympathetic. They are generally the people you would be happy to have over in your lowest moments, because you know they would understand what you need. And then there's those who have to learn it. The hard, painful and dirty way. I remember countless times friends and family accusing me of being judgemental and all I ever thought was that they were too sensitive. But I realized now, that this natural ability that some have, I seriously lacked. I have felt more empathy, love and kindness towards those around me that are struggling and seem to have trial after trial. I have learned to seek to listen more that I can be more helpful and understanding rather than just waiting until it's my turn to talk. To those of you who I have offended in the past or will offend in the future, I am truly sorry. I hope that I can be more available to those who need it, instead of wallowing in my own self pity. I am trying to stop comparing and start loving as I know that's what all we parents need! I also want you all to know that I am learning to have more humility... One prideful bragging blunder at a time.
